is good “self-care.”
I believe the secret to success is good “self-care.” Think about how much the world is changing, and how quickly! Just 20 years ago, “taking good care of yourself” consisted mainly of taking your vitamins and having your annual check-up at the doctor.
Essential Success Strategies
for Modern Life
But for me, these days, a surprising amount of my self-care consists of:
- ▸ saying “no”
- ▸ protecting my physical energy
- ▸ cutting through the noise
Here is why these same strategies can greatly improve your own life, too.
Success Strategy #1: Say “No” More Often
My friends, our culture has become a bit narcissistic. Many people become easily bored and physically restless if the conversation goes more than 5-seconds without being about them. It’s just the way it is right now. And because of it, you will constantly be pulled into other people’s agendas, orbiting their life, witnessing their experiences, addressing their wants and needs moment-to-moment. Which is fine, if you want to be a moon. But, what if you’re your own planet?
In order to stay out of the gravitational pull of well-meaning, self-absorbed people, you need to be able to say “no,” even if it makes you unpopular.
Even parents can model the art of reciprocity by saying “no” to their offspring. I mean, maybe your 11-year old son can get himself to soccer practice. Who says you have to be his personal chauffeur?
When you honor yourself by setting boundaries, you are giving the world a gift, because it shows other people what is possible within themselves (even if they don’t appreciate it in the moment)!
Success Strategy #2: Protect Your Physical Energy
Too often, people work beyond the point where they should stop for the day, into the “depletion zone.” Do that too often, and it’s hard to bounce-back.

life is better when your body is energized!
Of course, the best ways to cultivate more physical stamina, are still: quality sleep, exercise, and eat your vegetables. Hey, some things never go out of style!
Whenever possible, honor your own unique work-style. One way that works great for me lately, is to work 6.5 solid hours each day (6 days a week), and then if I feel like it, I may work another hour at night right before bed. Because I engage productivity principles, I’m able to do in that first 6.5 hours what it takes many other people 10 hours or more to complete. It’s not because I’m so awesome, it’s just that I use systems that help me get more-things-done, faster. You can, too.
You may not yet have the freedom to arrange your day around your own unique style of working, but do what you can. Even little adjustments can make a big difference.
Success Strategy #3: Cut Through the Noise
There is so much information coming at you from all sides every day. Radio, billboards, bus bench ads, emails, instant messaging, ringing cell phones, television, on and on and on.
When it comes to information, entertainment, news, mail, etc., you must have a strategy for how you will consume it. You don’t want to get sucked into the black hole of “constant information.” It saps your mental clarity and diminishes your quality of life.
But there is also a lot of physical matter coming at you, too. We live in a consumer culture, and that means “stuff” finds its way into your home — piling up, day after day.
What would your life feel like, if you were living it free of clutter?
“Does living luxuriously necessarily
mean having lots of possessions?”
It’s strange to think that much of the stuff we own ends up one day in a landfill. I aspire to minimalism, yet am astonished how much ‘stuff’ we have accumulated in our home. I am re-inspired to move toward simplicity!
The word possession can mean either the state of possessing items, or the state of being possessed. Think about that for a moment.
In our modern culture, it often means both simultaneously, for the articles we own take up physical and psychic space. In other words, sometime we don’t own stuff — our stuff owns us!
Everything from a golf ball to a refrigerator require time, energy, money, and maintenance. For a golf ball, you have to shop for it, pay for it, store it somewhere and then locate it later. Now multiply that exponentially and it becomes easy to see how the average ‘Westerner’ feels overwhelmed and drained in these modern times.
Perhaps we were not all meant to live as Zen monks. I know that I enjoy nice things as much as the next guy — gadgets, art, the latest running shoe — but I also enjoy the serenity that empty space provides. And I wonder, does every square inch have to be occupied?
How about a closet dresser with one empty drawer? I know, I know… revolutionary!
Does living luxuriously necessarily mean having lots of possessions? Can a person live well and feel prosperous with fewer things? I’m all for prosperity, and if someone wants a large house filled to the brim, I support that. But let’s be conscious about it. Let us choose that lifestyle, instead of just ending-up there.
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“Don’t Freak’n Do It!” Great advice. Sometimes I feel I have to check an item off my list even though it is low priority. Instead I can give myself a mental break by just setting it aside for another time.
You know you’re over-40 when you find yourself deciding to say ‘no’ to more things than you say ‘yes’ to…
{ twitter = @danenow }
Good lessons are often the hardest to learn (and these ones are pretty darn good!).
This reminds me that I really need to get my a__ back in the gym. It’s one of the things that helps me relax.
@cristian I agree! Exercise is more than just “burning fat.” It really does something fantastic to my brain chemistry: after a good workout, I feel like a billion bucks!
I was just telling @qstreet (Sam) how in the past I’ve had trouble saying no.
It can get very addictive to say yes to whatever comes along, but it also gets overwhelming. The key to it is using good discernment for why you are doing it & if why youre doing it makes it critical.
Great post Dane! Always enjoy looking around in your brain!
Chase — and the funny thing is, there’s a point when “to be a friendly guy” or “to be polite,” is no longer a healthy enough *why*
As I mature, I find the “why am I saying yes to this” criteria is more like:
~ how does this serve you?
~ how does this serve me?
~ how does this serve the world?
{ twitter = @danenow }